I have so many things going on this month that I feel like I’m about to lose control. :| I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it. I hate the feeling of not having control…sigh, I’m very excited for my trip to see all my family but at the same time I’m not cause I don’t want to hear the fat, chubby, or whatever comments some of my family members have to say. I HATE that they say shit like that cause to them they don’t understand how hurtful those comments are to someone. It’s fucking 5am where I am right now and I just have so much on my mind that I can’t seem to fall asleep plus on top of that I got into an argument with my boyfriend. Sigh, I hate when I fight with him. Anyways back to my rant, I just CAN’T WAIT to prove all my family members wrong the next time they see me, I’ll be the newer, better, healthier, skinny me. This whole weight loss thing has got to me and I’m so SICK and TIRED of my mom making comments, and I’m tired of all the negative thoughts that run through my mind everyday about my own weight, it is uncomfortable to do some things sometimes and some people might look at my blog and think I’m doing this just to be skinny but that’s all wrong cause I’m doing this to feel good about myself, to feel good in my own skin and to be healthy. And plus I want my family and my parents jaws to drop to the ground once they see the new me. I’m so tired of going shopping and knowing I can’t fit into that unless I’m smaller. Sigh…WHATEVER. I need to stop being so sulky…BLEHHHH.